


through eyes of man

by corsairspade



Category: Ava's Demon
Genre: Character Study, Gen, Not Beta Read, Purposeful lowercase, Well it's more poetry than a fic but, for aesthetic reasons, this is my first fic be gentle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-06
Updated: 2017-07-06
Packaged: 2018-11-28 11:22:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11416896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/corsairspade/pseuds/corsairspade
Summary: how odin views the other hosts + himself





	through eyes of man

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first fic!!  
> I wrote it while listening to https://8tracks.com/luralulu/humility  
> Enjoy!

you always panic when the purple flower that is almost (but is it almost still, or have you finally crossed that line where you are so afraid that it is) your lifeline disappears, but you knew it was inevitable. all you can do now is wait for the inevitable gravelly voice that you spend so long trying to just shut up. better not do this alone, you suppose and you walk to the room that you know holds the others, pausing just outside of the door. and there is the voice, asking you about the bright souls that it knows traps its friends- its wife. you almost refuse that it is married, because it makes it seem all that more alive, which it is not, as you tell yourself every day. but you cave after a single question, as you always do, disgusted with yourself. and well-

Ava Ire. (Wrath, Hera, Juno, Wrathia) small and brilliant and terrifying. she is fire. this is self explanatory, her temper as raging as the sea of guilt in your stomach. she is brilliant and bright and so, so sudden. so extinguishable. she is heart and soul and the hurricane in all its glory and terror. so strong but so weak. a living contradiction. stubborn as rock and steadfast in her opinions. but her fire melts her rock and she is a flowing river of heat and hope and all you feel is pity, pity, pity, because this kid, who burns so bright, is begging to be crushed by the power she doesn't understand. you see the past and the present and the future, oh the future in her frightened eyes. you wish so hard that she had not been cursed like she had been, and perhaps if you wish hard enough you can start pretending that it's true. 

Gil Marverde. (Envy, Poseidon, Neptune, Nevy) willowy and kind and awful. he is rain, you think. before you came crashing into his life (literally), he was white clouds, pure and trusting and so disgustingly, horribly naïve and you were unsure whether to love him or to despise him. you are still are unsure, even as the clouds have darkened and started to pour, the raging floods caused by the downpour sweeping you aside. he trusts so easily and you hate it, hate him. you remember how without prompt, he helped patch you up and you love him, love what he stands for. his mind would not be beautiful, you think to yourself. it would be far, far too empty, bleached, purified, scarily empty except what had been forced in there by that cult- and you remind yourself that you are not alone at the moment and that punching a wall is not a good idea.

Maggie Lacivi. (Lust, Aphrodite, Venus, Tuls) beautiful and deadly and sour. she is bitter, clinging vines and poison ivy. fitting with the branches that her arms shift into. you could hate her, you tell yourself, if you'd didn't feel so sorry. you could hate her for fighting, for dooming the mission. but all she is, is a lost kid. a hurt kid. and all your life you have wanted to help people who are hurting but you remember that soldiers do not help and that you have a mission and you must make your family proud. you want to teach her how to let go of the bitter stench that clings at the flowers that you can almost see perched on her head in a crown. she is a forest of layers upon layers and you fear that if you went in, you would be torn to pieces by the creatures that resided there. she is broken, she is shattered, she wants to love someone. there is no one word to describe her, a mystery on an enigma on a riddle. and oh god are you scared she'll be burned to the ground by the end of this.

and you? the monster at your side inquires with a tilt of its head. you know what you are. you are metal, twisted and beaten and shaped into a knife. you are prideful and hateful and you are so disgusting, you disgust yourself, disgust your family, disgust your (friends?) companions. you are a liar and a murderer and so much worse. but above all, you are a soldier. and soldiers do not complain. they hold their chins up high and listen to orders and you have been a soldier ever since you knew what breathing was. but you are also a brother and you pray, (and oh what a concept, the atheist praying to a god he does not believe in- to a god he might be trying to destroy for the love of life. of a life, of all life, and you have always loved to fast and too hard.) that no matter what your siblings think of you you can protect them. and you know they'd laugh at you, the weak one, the dumb one, but you have to do it, you must do it, because you are prideful and you are strong. and you are also lying to yourself, you are weak and any one of the people you know could break you, because you say you do not care at all, but in fact, you care far too much.

and all together? all together, you are not a world, or four warring forces, you are a cloud of gas in space slowly coming closer and closer, ready to explode into a star, and whether that star is going to be beautiful or ugly as your heart, you do not yet know. but you hope- and is that all you can do nowadays? hope? hope is such a fleeting, broken thing. but you remember the stories of pandora's box. you know that you must always hold onto that hope, no matter what monsters you face. even if those monsters are giants. even if those monsters are family. even if those monsters are beautiful. even- perhaps just even if those monsters are yourself. 

your name is Odin (Pride, Zeus, Jupiter, Pedri) and (as always) you are deathly afraid.


End file.
